ENZZZZZZOIIIIIII.....

Note : This posting might not be for 'single' people... hehehe.. however I can see some ppl warming up to read the post that follows... :-)

Following the Marriage post, I would like to share another thought passed to me from somebody famous :-)

How good are you in Math?A set theory diagram. Let the 2 squares be the 2 people getting together in marriage. The red here is the discomfort zone and the colorful part is the comfort zone. For different people, these boundaries vary. As part of marriage when 2 people start to communicate to one another, we have to understand the other person's comfort zone. Rather than having your expectations in mind, you should be verbal in expressing it in a positive manner.

When the person has more of the red zone within them, it is more tactics we require to communicate to them.
What happens when you don't communicate properly?

The person with the more RED zone gets hurt easily. This person eventually builds up a 'Hurt' System within them. Once this hurt system is built strong enough, the person's DEFENSIVE mechanism sets out ..smthing like an Auto pilot.

Now about scoring, everytime you do something, the other person keeps a score of your actions. A time comes when there is the part called "Settling Scores". This is when the auto-pilot starts settling scores. Sometimes we also hurt the other person's family members in this process of settling scores.

Also the person who spoke about this humorously quoted as to how different the woman keeps score as compared to a man. He said " when you dont take her to her favorite restaurant, she gives you a minus 100 whereas a vacation to Florida could get you only a plus 1." The woman settles her score when his folks are in town and when her folks are visiting, he takes his revenge.
He suggested that the best way to avoid "Scoring" in a negative figure is to try to understand the other person's priorities and try to show interest in the other person's priorities. This can indirectly show how much you care for that person. Also a healthy discussion about a common family goal with periodical re-evaluation of priority can also be done.

He also quoted that in the bond called marriage " a woman usually looks for affection and care. She is not really bothered about being understood as it might be impossible task for a man to do that. On the other hand, the man wants to be understood rather than affection and care". This might be contrary to my previous ( way to earlier) post that the man looks for affection in his wife ie. he searches for a second mom in his wife. I guess that is still valid but here we are concentrating on the priority. The man in the long run wants to be better understood by his wife and the affection/care will follow in the list.

I felt sharing the above thought with you all, could also help me analyze how much I understood that person's discourse...

So, now you decide.. will ya score tonite? ;-).... make sure the score is positive.....

tata
sukku